Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
