You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
