Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
