found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
