No awkward lesbian experiences without me
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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