you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
