just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
