Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just had sex on a roof
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
