I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
