is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
