She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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