laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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