Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
