I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
why is half of my head shaved?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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