At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
