It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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