So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize