yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
