Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
