talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
