The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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