I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
