thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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