why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
