hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
