The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I need a beard to bite.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
