Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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