no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
