So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
