I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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