Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
