I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
