Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
