i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
