stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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