I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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