Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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