Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
