I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
