your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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