I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
