On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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