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careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
do herpes really smell.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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