So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is that a dick in a sweater?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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