Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
