so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
