what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
