OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize