I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
