who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This baby is an asshole
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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