So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
