i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
