quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
