I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
