overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
