On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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