I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
