i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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