Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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