Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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