so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize