Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
