apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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