yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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