doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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