They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
