pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize