I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
