wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
