Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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