Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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