Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
