Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
