he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
