she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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