Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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