You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize