And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why didn't you poke me back
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
